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What's A Soul Contract & How Does It Work?

Before you incarnate, you develop a plan with your spirit guides or counselors (on the other side). This is what a soul contract is. There are also energies that have all kinds of different specialized tasks, and they can help assist you to sort out the incarnation & life you want to go into, why you want to do it, how you're going to do it, and more of the potentials that can happen. It’s not just you. You're going to be interacting with other energies.

When you incarnate, you're going to not only have a contract for what you are going to do in that life but also contracts with people: how you're going to affect or work with certain people and the lessons you're going to learn with those people.

soul contract - woman holding her heart

You can have contracts that are longer-term (ie. you have a toxic twin flame relationship for years, you're going to find the love of your life and be with them until you die, or a contract with a terrible boss for six months, etc.) and then you're done. You're done with your contracts to each other, just to learn that lesson.

Keep in mind that just because you have a soul contract with someone, it doesn't mean it's going to be something pleasant; it could be something awful. It could be something amazing. It could be anything. It's really custom for each individual, so it's whatever your soul is seeking to grow.

Basically, the Earth is a unique place because of the dimension in which it resides and also the type of place it is, and the types of beings here can allow us to exercise all kinds of different potentials and evolve very quickly, because we can put ourselves through difficult things.

soul contract - grass trees and morning sun

The interesting thing is that when we're on the other side in the afterlife, it doesn't seem daunting as it does when we're in life here on earth. Just give it a little bit of humor, think of it like you're going to a design center where you want to pick out cabinets for your home. You might be thinking, “Oh, I like this cabinet style with this shade of color and these type of knobs.” It's easy, fun, and interesting when you're picking it out, but it's completely different when you're actually going through it. When you're building those cabinets yourself, you might then think, “Crap, I have to put these all together. It doesn't seem as fun anymore.” As you’re building the cabinet, there's also a lot of room for learning experiences of all kinds.

soul contract - sign message difficult roads and plant

Sometimes it's hard for us to believe that we had a soul contract with a horrible person. That person in spirit form in the afterlife is not a horrible soul but is actually very loving. They chose to be an a-hole in this life so you can grow so much further.

There's also karma that you have to balance back out again, so there are certain karmic things that will be balanced back out in your next incarnation. Not as a punishment, but it's simply a way to experience all sides of things.

A common example: if you were the victim this time, you might be the abuser next time because you need to balance out that experience. This isn’t to diminish what you're experiencing in this life because we were meant to experience it from a human perspective here. However, when we cross over to the other side, there is reconciliation. There is peace, love, and healing that can happen. It's very interesting in how we perceive things differently in the afterlife versus here on the lower dimension of Earth in our physical existence.

soul contract - leaves hanging changing color

Basically, soul contracts are tools to help you develop a plan on how your soul can evolve in various ways, whether it's human to human contacts, animals, college/education, certain professions, even certain events to happen, and natural disasters. All kinds of stuff.

That’s why sometimes we can feel drawn to do something. When we look back, we think, “Wow why did I do that? That was a horrible experience.” You might have actually chosen ahead of time to have that experience, and that's why you were just magnetized to do it.

Sometimes we have to experience it, but we don't have to suffer forever. It's only supposed to serve a certain lesson.

soul contract - birds eye view people walking on concrete pavement

For example, let's say I went through an abusive relationship with my boss to learn something like empowerment, speaking up the truth, speaking up for others, etc. If I had chosen with my free will to quit that job early on because I couldn’t take it anymore and wanted to run (but I still didn’t go through to learn the lesson), would that difficult lesson have happened later down the road but be manifested in a romantic relationship or with my next boss until I learned my lesson?

It's different for everyone. In some cases, people can kind of delay the lesson but they might keep experiencing it as a result. The thing is: if you don't work on it or let the learning happen, then the experience can get more and more intense to the point where you can’t ignore it anymore and you have to deal with it.

I’ve gone through tremendously difficult times, and personally, from my experience, I feel like it's best to just go ahead and get it done, and then get the help you need to get through it. If it's a soul contract you signed up for, it's going to happen. You can decrease the amount of time potentially; it depends on how quickly you learn the lesson you signed up for. It's very complex, so it's not a cookie-cutter experience for anyone.

There's a mix of destiny and free will, and it's different for everybody. It's very complicated. Some people in certain situations have multiple aspects of destiny to fulfill there before they can really use their free will to recover from that.

soul contract - us navy jets flying

The best example I can give is that it really is like a simulator where pilots go and fly airplanes. In the simulators, they might crash, but they're still alive (just like how your soul is eternal). Your soul is coming here on earth, and you might crash the plane in the simulator many times before you finally nail the landing.

If you're going through something that's difficult and not enjoying the experience and want to be removed from it, you can still ask yourself “What can I learn from it, so that I can move forward?”

For someone who goes through a very difficult thing in their life (ie. very verbally and physically abusive & traumatic relationship), does that mean they chose their soul contract to experience that?

Their soul did not choose to experience that specific event, but they chose in this lifetime to learn the lesson of, for example, what it’s like to feel their power being taken away from them. No one has actually ever taken your power away; it's the feeling that someone took your power away.

soul contract - male sitting alone in solitude on rock

Usually, in cases like that, the soul wanted to learn how to get to that level of finding true inner strength and empowerment where no one can ever take it away.

In order to really set that into motion, a lot of times you do have to go through something difficult, where someone is taking your power away whether it’s someone domineering or abusive. It's a very powerful lesson for that soul to learn, and it is very brave of that soul to go through that. However, there's a powerful pot-of-gold lesson on the other side of it.

Some people will learn that lesson. Some people will struggle with it. Some people just take some time, and that’s alright. There's no wrong way to go about that.

Is that why bad things keep happening to me? Because I am not learning my lesson? Or that I chose to have a difficult life?

I can relate to this because I’ve had friends tell me, “You literally have bad luck. How do crazy things keep happening to you?” I mind my own business. I was always trying to be a good person and I didn’t know what to do. Basically there was one point where I was really feeling victimized by it and thought, “Why? Why me? Why is this happening to me? I must have done something wrong.”

soul contract - person with sneakers running up steps

Then I finally saw it like a training ground. Soon I switched my mindset from feeling victimized all the time to thinking about what is there for me to learn and evolve from that experience. Then all the crazy things started to slowly dwindle more and more. My life became much more normal after years and years of suffering.

I finally started to empower myself and it stopped attracting certain experiences because it no longer resonated with my soul since it had evolved past that experience. If there are difficult times, they're much more workable or temporary, or my attitude now is good enough where I can get through it much faster.

All in all, you're not going to be punished forever. Once that lesson is served, then that stuff doesn’t need to keep happening, right?

soul contract - winding road in countryside

I noticed a lot of healers go through these horrible experiences. They're very difficult. Why? Because they learn empathy and know the journey. As a result, they become quality healers compared to somehow who’s never gone through it.

With the horrible things I've been through, I would not change it because it has made me so much more of a compassionate and well-rounded person. It’s helped me to be a quality healer. I see it now, and I see why I had to go through all this, so I'm very thankful for that journey.

[TRIGGER WARNING: mentioning of self-harm below]

Are some people meant to commit suicide as part of their soul contract? Is it to create a ripple effect in the community around them? What if it wasn't in their contract to commit suicide and they did it successfully?

It depends. Sometimes it is in your soul contract. Sometimes it's not. Usually from what I've seen, there can be at least a few different potential ways you're going to pass away, a few different exit points throughout life. You may use your free will to not do it.

soul contract - concrete steps and vines

Sometimes extreme deaths are necessary because there are a bunch of contingent contracts that are going to evolve because of that, but then sometimes they were not supposed to commit suicide, and all those contingent contracts are now left unfulfilled. It’s really difficult because that type of death is very hard for the people around them. It will create very high shock value and trauma in the community and it depends on what contracts you had with those people. Was that trauma supposed to be that they'll make something amazing in your honor and do something, like changing their environment? Or is it because they needed to experience such extreme suffering for the rest of their life?

There are cases where I've seen a person had to go at that exact time and that exact way, almost like they were magnetically drawn to that circumstance. That happens a lot. For example, some people with Coronavirus: this was meant to be their exit point.

soul contract - scales

Now, and it not because you did anything wrong or because you whatever it is no punishment it's just, everyone has a different experience everyone's experiences unique, and depending on what you're here to learn. It's very different for everyone. It's really hard to say what really was their path, until after someone passes away. Most of the time, it was their time to go.

Are animals that we end up adopting or buying usually the same animal spirit that come with us in different reincarnations? What’s their purpose?

Yes, a lot of times people will feel very connected to a certain animal they'd never met before. Then they end up adopting or buying one. And yes, a lot of times these animals do come back.

soul contract - two dogs in motion corgi and terrier

Sometimes new energies come in to teach in a different type of animal. Also, the same animal spirits can come in quite a bit quite a few times throughout our lives to teach us a lesson. Sometimes they can be elemental energies that decide to incarnate is an animal. Elemental energies are different than animal energies; they're nature spirits basically who live in other dimensions and are kind of coexisting with us.

Is there a way I can find out what my soul contract specifically is or like the main theme of it?

You can ask your higher self. Also, here's the difficult part: sometimes we're not supposed to know our entire soul contract.

You're just supposed to maybe see it when it's about to unfold. You might have certain feelings or “just know” what you’re going to do sometimes as if you feel it in your soul. Sometimes, if you're disconnected or you get stuck in a grind of everyday life, you might be stuck in a bit of a rut and you might not have as clear of a connection to it.

You can ask your higher self or your spirit guides for the most relevant piece of your contract to be revealed that would be helpful to you. They're not going to reveal something that's not for your highest good.

With Love And Light,


What do you think about soul contracts? Have you felt like you were drawn to something with no explanation? Click below and share your thoughts with us on social media below!

2,674 views3 comments


He sounds arrogant. Maybe this was an exercise in you learning to love yourself. I also think it was empowering of you to go after someone you wanted, because subconsciously you did want to be with him from the moment you “laid eyes on him” so you made that experience happen.


Shonda Torres
Shonda Torres
Apr 27, 2021

I started a job and as soon as I laid eyes on a man I worked with I just "knew" he was going to be someone I dated. As soon as I thought it..I shook my head at the idea (he had a very cocky look..and I was over weight and NOT looking for a date) I didn't even like him ..he was arrogant and rude.

Well, 2 years later, covid hit and I had lost about 80 lbs . I had just reactivated my Facebook, to show off! ..and his name just popped in my head..and I just "had" to message him. I had no idea why..and as soon as I sent that msg..I was not worried about his…

Replying to

WOW! Thank you for sharing this story, Shonda! A lot of times, there's this "pull" people can feel out of nowhere indeed! What's great is that many times a person can stay in a victim mentality/mindset (ie. why is this happening to me? Why me?). However, we LOVE how you shared your insight and saw it as a lesson. It's a journey (sometimes painful), but you came out of it empowered, knowing your self-worth and more people need that!

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